Sir Alex's BDSM Advice

Sir, should I prepare myself by plugging/dildo-ing myself to stretch it wide or should I wait until I found a worthy Master to take my virginity from my tight hole? Is the first impression matter? - a single sub Hello Anon, So your question essentially is “what do doms want from a first timer’s hole?” Right? There is no one answer to this question. Everyone’s different. A fisting top might want to fist you and need it wide open. Other doms might expect you to be very tight your first time and enjoy the pain involved in opening you up. I wouldn’t worry about people’s expectations. Just recognize literally no matter what you do… someone is going to decide they’re not interested for any of a dozen reasons and there’s nothing you can do about it. Your best bet, is to decide what you want to do and then advertise it as the perk associated with your virginity. Here’s two examples of what I mean: “Sir, my virgin hole has had nothing more than a single finger in it and ...

Is it possible to wear a cage without it shrinking my cock? i enjoy topping and being a submissive bottom at times, and one of my big fetishes would be being in chastity in public, or being in a locker room with others seeing me locked. is it possible for me to be locked and not loose any girth or length? Hey Anon, that’s an interesting question and a fun fetish. I’m sorry to say this but I’m not sure there’s any way to know. Ultimately, the phenomenon of shrinkage was made aware to me through @cagedjock‘s posts. I don’t really know much more about it than his personal experiences have conveyed. My educated guess as to why this happens is it is essentially, atrophy of an unused organ. But that is only a guess. I am not a medic or biologist for a living. If we assume I’m correct and atrophy is the cause, I would suggest staying locked for short periods of time. You say your kink is chastity in public. Perhaps you could go to a locker room and be locked for that outi...

"I am a newbie, I find your writing very expanding and helpful. What advise can you offer a very scared to fail person?" I’m going to try to focus on giving advice I haven’t given already. 1) Failure Is How We Learn And Grow - You learn so much more from failure than you do success. In BDSM that’s a really important thing. Learning that I’ve tied a rope too tight helps every sub after that moment. Failing to tie a knot teaches me what to change in future to get it down pat. A perpetual expectation perfection is a recipe for frustration. 2) Failures Of The Past Won’t Be Seen By Those In The Present - If you fail at an activity. Learn from it. Try again, and get it right going forward? Anyone who sees you perform the task you failed at perfectly will never know you failed. They only see the success. Example: I had a bad experience with a boy choking a bit while having a ball gag in his mouth. Now, I know to tell every boy to drool uncontrollably so that happens to no o...

"I've sucked cock, but I can't come to terms w being gay or doing anal. Like after I cum I'm not attracted to guys anymore. But when I'm horny I only want guys. I've sucked 4 dicks and never anal. Like what is wrong w me? Am I gay or what? If I am gay then why do I want nothing to do w men when I'm not horny. Also sometimes when I am horny I'll watch lesbian porn but only domination lesbian porn w strapons and stuff. I just want to figure out what is going on if you can help me!" First off, i want to assure you that confusion around exactly who you are sexually is not uncommon at all. As more and more men become aware that “man/woman” is not the exclusive extent of sexuality, lots of guys who are in fact straight end up questioning who they are. I think that the most prudent thing to do would be to give you some things to think about. Ultimately, you have to discover who you are for yourself I cannot tell you because only you can uncover your ...