Sir Alex's BDSM Advice

  Impostor Syndrome and BDSM Part 1 of 2 Dissecting Impostor Syndrome   I am extremely grateful to the many people who have worked to give this concept a name and language we can all use in discussing it. Impostor syndrome can affect subs or doms, but for the purposes of this article I overcame it as a dominant and wanted to discuss it in detail from that perspective because I know other dominants struggle with this silently. Even amongst each other we don’t often discuss it. It is always important to start by defining the topic of discussion. Impostor syndrome is a feeling that we’re in a position in life, in love, in our career, or in BDSM that we have not in fact earned and that if others found out we’d be exposed and humiliated for pretending to be someone we aren’t.  I’d say 2017 was the last time I was feeling impostor syndrome pretty severely. I know not everyone reading this will know who I am, so I’d like to discuss my background and bonafides not as ...

  cobberstuff  said to  thegayboybible : Thank you for your explanation of terms and meanings. I can see that words can mean different things to different people and so it is important for both submissive and dominants to talk about what particular words mean to them. It is valuable to have a vocabulary you can use and agree on. From your description I have come to the understanding that I would be a beta by your definition. “I submit because I am strong, not because I am weak.” The word “humiliation” is a puzzle to me. I guess it has its root in “humble” and that fits with how I see myself with respect to a Dom. However, the word seems to me to have the meaning of disparagement or debasement. If a Dom wants me to do something, it gives me an opportunity to express my nature and, if it pleases him, it fulfills me. But it seems to have the connotation of being forced to do something that is purposefully belittling. Have you any thoughts? Hey there! Thanks for the question....