Sir Alex's BDSM Advice

"Hello sir, I'm a younger sub and have a couple questions about safety. Firstly, are poppers safe to use, like is overdose a possibility and how damaging are they to your brain? Secondly, how do you find good doms? I've been using omegle but are there any sites you recommend, everyone on there is a flaky dom and leaves after the session, so do you perhaps have anyone you recommend even?"   Hi pup! One of the things I dislike about Tumblr is its transient nature. It is hard to post stuff so that people can persistently see it. I have a  Table of Contents  for posts I’ve written that would answer your question on how to find good Doms. Specifically,  how to find a Sir  and  what to look for in a Sir  but before I get into finding a Sir let’s address your questions in order Are poppers safe to use?  If you’d asked me a few months ago I would’ve largely said yes. However, recent  research  indicates it might have a serious draw back....

"Hello sir. I'm a senior in college who is a sub/switch and I've finally met another person in tumblr who lives nearby, is a year older than me, and is into the same stuff I am(boot worship/trampling) (he also says he's 90% sub, 10% dom). We've talked for a bit and we both have expressed that meeting for a session would be awesome. I'd messaged him a few days ago and he never responded. I'm afraid that he's ignoring me/passively cancelling our idea but I don't want to sound pushy. Any advice?"   Thanks for the question! I’m in this very situation almost monthly. I think that the first bit of context we should add in here is that when it comes to messages through messenger there is no notification outside of Tumblr (unlike this very ask you sent me which generated an email). Whatever you write, you should just keep in mind without a notification if anything serious came up in real life he might have become distracted and forgotten about the...

"I'm a Dom who suffers from depression and anxiety. Though I'm in treatment, I still have episodes, and both my depression and anxiety operate in the background. As a result, I find that I doubt myself quite often and feel insecure. That problem is particularly bad in sexualized spaces, like most gay bars and especially BDSM spaces. I also find it difficult to determine when to open up to my subs about these issues. Do you have any advice?"   Hey there fellow dominant! I hope today finds you well. Hmm. I think one of the first things I want to say is that, (if you aren’t already) you should come to a place where you can feel OK saying to yourself that this just isn’t some people’s business. It IS OK to not tell someone you’re playing with on the regular for any reason or no reason at all! There are socially acceptable niceties such as “I’m not feeling well” as a reason to cancel if you’re having an episode and in the moment you don’t want to start the conversatio...

"I usually cum pretty quick, but almost always go for 2-3 rounds. Any advice on being able to last longer the first time around?" Hey there, thanks for the question! First off, let me say that being able to go for multiple rounds consistently is a big plus for most guys (and gals if you’re bi). I think that a multi-pronged approach is probably your best bet.  But before I get to that approach, I’m hesitant to mention this solution but it could lead to a good outcome for you so I will. I don’t know if you have any issues with depression but anti-depressants usually have a negative effect on your ability to orgasm and considering your sensitivity could be helpful. But let’s be COMPLETELY clear what I’m suggesting. I am saying that if it turns out that you do actually have very real issues with depression and have avoided going to see a psychiatrist about them that under their direct supervision medication in this particular case might help two problems at once. If you do...