Sir Alex's BDSM Advice

I'm new to the scene and I think I'm submissive, how do I know? I am always surprised when I hear this question because I think there are plenty of guys like you who know they like kink and aren’t sure where they fall on the spectrum of submission and dominance. If you come to kink and don’t already have a solid feeling you’re a dominant or submissive, I can give you a pretty easy way to start narrowing it down. Submissive -  When you’re jacking off, are you imagining what gets done TO you rather than by you? If so you are probably a submissive. Switch -  A switch is a guy who determines whether he is dominant or submissive based on the personality of the person he encounters. If the other person seems more dominant than him he’ll submit. If the other person seems more submissive, he’ll be more dominant. When you’re jacking off as a switch, you might f...

Hello Sir, I’ve been following you for a long time- always love the content! I was just wondering how the BDSM community is in dc? Do you know many doms or subs or couples? Is it a connected community? I live in Baltimore. Hello boy! I’m sorry that you’ve not yet connected to the community in Baltimore. As for DC? I honestly don’t know too much about the community. My exposure is limited to going to the DC Eagle (there’s one in Baltimore too, have you been?), a house party for an owned puppy, MAL ( Mid Atlantic Leather ), and a few times at  Code DC . I am aware of my community and friendly, but i’m happy with where i’m at and an introvert. From those points of observation i’d be able to say the community is a bit small, but because people come to DC for work and then leave to go home DC is a bit more connected to the rest of the world. The DC community is also a bit tight lipped. A lot of kinksters want to ke...

I'm a Dom who suffers from depression and anxiety. Though I'm in treatment, I still have episodes, and both my depression and anxiety operate in the background. As a result, I find that I doubt myself quite often and feel insecure. That problem is particularly bad in sexualized spaces, like most gay bars and especially BDSM spaces. I also find it difficult to determine when to open up to my subs about these issues. Do you have any advice? Hey there fellow dominant! I hope today finds you well. Hmm. I think one of the first things I want to say is that, (if you aren’t already) you should come to a place where you can feel OK saying to yourself that this just isn’t some people’s business. It IS OK to not tell someone you’re playing with on the regular for any reason or no reason at all! There are socially acceptable niceties such as “I’m not feeling well” as a reason to cancel if you’re having an episode and in ...

I usually cum pretty quick, but almost always go for 2-3 rounds. Any advice on being able to last longer the first time around? Hey there, thanks for the question! First off, let me say that being able to go for multiple rounds consistently is a big plus for most guys (and gals if you’re bi). I think that a multi-pronged approach is probably your best bet. But before I get to that approach, I’m hesitant to mention this solution but it could lead to a good outcome for you so I will. I don’t know if you have any issues with depression but anti-depressants usually have a negative effect on your ability to orgasm and considering your sensitivity could be helpful. But let’s be COMPLETELY clear what I’m suggesting. I am saying that if it turns out that you do actually have very real issues with depression and have avoided going to see a psychiatrist about them that under the...