Sir Alex's BDSM Advice

Greetings Sir, and thank you in advance for any advice you might offer. My (dominant) husband loves that I am a slut, and encourages me to be an eager, insatiable bottom for him and others. Lately though, he's been struggling with feelings of inadequacy, both sexually and not. He and I have spoken, and he insists that I'm not responsible, but I want to do anything I can to help him. Do you have any advice for how I can be his eager, always hungry whore AND still show that he fulfills me totally? Hello Anon! You’re welcome in advance for my advice :) Are you aware of a particular cause for the feelings of inadequacy? Has he recently had difficulty achieving and maintaining erection? Is his body changing as he gets older and he’s self-conscious about it? Is there something else going on that might account for a blow to his self-image? There could be. Whatever it is, I’m betting he hasn’t mentioned it to you or may even be trying to hide it from you out of sham...

So this guy I'm kinda seeing has asked me to shave my hole for him, and remove the rest of my body hair. But when i said that i like his body hair and beard he said he's gonna shave it all soon so like... I'm honestly not sure i wanna keep seeing him if he feels the need to try and make a subversive power dynamic b/w us without us discussing this. What are your thoughts? Hi there hairy anon! I have a couple of thoughts on this request. First, I don’t think from your description this man is a dominant? It’s just a relationship of some sort that you have (fuckbuddies, bfs, something in between) and he’s suddenly insisting these changes are going to be made without much discussion or consent on your part. Personally? I could see him asking you to shave your hole. I’ve fucked guys who were very hairy and it was a bit like fucking sandpaper be...

Hi Sir, I've always been fascinated with the alpha/sub dynamic and have always found porn in that genre a huge turn on, especially when the bottom boy is small/hairless getting railed by a bigger/older guy. I've always bottomed and have actually never topped. Recently found blogs like yours and a couple of others and the material is making me so horny however after I cum I feel a sense of shame and almost disgust. How do I know I actually want this or that this is just better left as fantasies. Wow! That is a remarkably insightful and forward thinking question! I’m going to enjoy answering it. First off, to directly answer your question? I don’t think you can know for certain. I think this is something you’re going to have to try. And I’d try it with someone who REALLY seems like a solid guy, who might be willing to give you a little aftercare if it’s not something you enjoy after all. This is a pretty common experience among submissives I’ve spoken to. But stick ...

Hi Sir I’m confused about spanking/ flogging / pain play in the kink community... sometimes it seems to be for punishment and then sometimes it seems to be for fun... How can it be both? Or am I not understanding?  Hey anon! Don’t worry; this one confused me early on too. The most basic answer for you is: “It depends on whether the person likes impact play (an umbrella term for the list above) or not.” For some people, spanking is a punishment because they don’t find it enjoyable. Getting hit becomes a corrective measure. Some people see spankings from movies or older media and get a thrill from transgression even though they dislike the pain. “I was naughty, so I got spanked. Being spanked means I was sufficiently naughty to warrant a sexy punishment. I’m gonna act out again because the harder I’m spanked the naughtier I was.” For people who enjoy transgressing it’s important to understand the transgression and getting caught is the thrill even if the act of b...