I wounded my sub and I feel so guilty...

Hello Sir, have you ever wounded a boy accidentally? I apologized and he said it was nothing but I feel so, so bad.

Hi there! I think I'm talking to a fellow Sir but I’m a little uncertain…

I’m so sorry to hear that! I know exactly how guilty you must feel.

I have messed up. I haven’t actually wounded someone yet. Hope I never do. The very first post I wrote for The Gay Boy Bible was the first big mistake I made to show why this sort of education was important. You can read the full story here. In short, I did not know that a boy who had a ball gag in his mouth needed to drool and not swallow. When I struck his ass he was surprised and inhaled sharply. The spittle went into his lungs and his body panicked as if he were drowning. He was, however, bound at the time and thrashing about clearly freaking out. I had to push in despite being kicked and elbowed to remove the gag and cut him free of the ropes. In the end, he took a moment to steady himself and ran out. I’ve never seen or heard from him again.

I don’t want to belittle the experience you’ve had. Dom or sub this sort of thing leaves a mark on you for a little bit even if the wound was superficial. But here are some thoughts to mull over.
  • You have real limits - I don’t think many young dominants really think about their own limits but an experience like this can really confront you with the experience of remorse for the result of your action (unintentional as it was) and brought yourself to a place you hadn’t intended or wanted to go.
  • It’s ok to not be ok for a bit - As unpleasant as it is, I’m glad you feel remorse. I have spoken to and heard of dominants who would’ve shrugged and said it’s part of the rough play. I’m pretty willing to bet you’re a good person who made a mistake. Just live with it for a bit and come to a place of peace. I don’t know how serious the wound was but even if it was significant just to YOU… If you leap back into play too soon you can experience some anxiety. Unpleasant as it is you need to work through it for yourself and find the space to forgive yourself.
  • Break down what happened (if you don’t know) - Take some time to replay the event when you’re ready to deal with it and make sure you understand what to do differently next time.
  • Your sub may have felt the wound was minor and in his lust just wanted you to continue - I have accidentally drawn blood in a very thin very minor way. The boy who said it was a limit wasn’t freaked out and said it was ok but not to do it again (i later sanded the rough edges of a toy to fix that). There are lots of reasons he may have just said “it’s nothing” and if he still wants to play with you I would ask what you should do differently next time in the moment. It won’t be universally applicable but at least as far as he’s concerned you’ll have a course of action.
  • Make this experience a positive outcome to look back on - When it’s all said and done, you should feel that you took action or worked through it in such a way that while you’re not proud of what happened you can be proud of how it shaped you.
Worried about your submissive? Need another dominant who can help add perspective? Ask me a question!

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