I am wondering if a dominant in another country is real. How do i know?

Excuse me Sir, I'm sorry for bothering you but do you have any advice on first-timer submissive who just made a contact (i followed your advice on how to find a Sir using Recon) with a dom from another country and said he is willing to host? Many insecurities comes to mind- is this real, is this dangerous, what should i do and so on, or is all of this irrelevant and i should just go for it? Not to mention having no previous experiences. How should i proceed? Would appreciate your advice, Sir.

No bother at all boy, I love answering questions.

I saw you’re wondering whether this Dom is for real. Let’s treat this dominant like he is for real just to play out how that could work out.

1.       You’re away from home - If you get to the other country you’re probably dependent on this guy to get a flight back. That gives him a lot of leverage over your departure and no matter how much you talk to him, how trust worthy he seems, it’s always going to be a potential point of danger.

2.       He may change up how he acts in person - Since he has the upper hand with you visiting him, he could kind of demand anything of you if he’s holding the ticket home. That kind of power could lead to some bad abuses of that power.

3.       Just to even buy the ticket for you he needs your info - Your full name and he may even ask for your home address. The anonymity of the internet would be stripped away just to catch a flight.

4.       What would you do when you aren’t fucking? - Assume he’s a stand up guy and the sex works out ok. You aren’t made uncomfortable or told to do anything dangerous That’s maybe 2 hours of your day if it’s a long session. Now you’ve cum, you’re at his house, and it’s not like you can just… leave and spend some time alone. There’s some potential awkwardness there even if he speaks your language well. Seems a long way to go for a short climax.

All in all, I wouldn’t recommend going, it is dangerous, and there’s more time to it than just fucking which can easily get awkward. I wouldn’t recommend inviting him to your place either, you would be making yourself rather vulnerable having him over. You’re inexperienced, so there’s certainly no harm in testing the waters playing with him over recon’s chat system but I’d leave it there.

Since you were considering this guy who lives so far away, it’s possible you may have few or no options in your area. Not everywhere has a concentration of kinksters and I understand that. I still think it might be useful to quickly lay out the rules I operate by when it comes to finding boys see if any of it can be applied to you.

- No one stays at my apartment until I’ve met them at least twice and even then I let a friend know I’m having someone over to stay that I’ve only met a few times but seems like a decent guy. The friend checks in on me once to see how it’s going and only again after that if I ask him to. I reject out of hand any offers to visit my city and stay with me when I’ve never met the guy.

- I set a radius of about 20 miles around my city. If someone lives within that distance and wants to visit me that’s fine. If they live outside that range they may be travelling for longer than we’d spend fucking. When guys come from far away, they often want to spend longer to justify the trip and it’s been awkward a few times where they’re trying to draw out the play session but I’m kind of done.

- I explicitly state that I’ll only play with locals and visitors. This doesn’t prevent folks from FAR away from contacting me, but it does cut down a lot on the long distance offers.

All of my rules are to help try to focus on men who I could potentially have over again to play with. It minimizes the amount of time I have to wait for someone to play and after play I always engage in some small talk (unless it went REAL badly) and get to know them a bit.

I really hope there are other options in your area. If you have any other questions do let me know!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My thoughts on raceplay

Is that REALLY the core of who I am as a person?

Impostor Syndrome and BDSM