I'm having trouble getting in touch with my younger sub.

I own a handsome young beta who is a perfect fit for me. He can take a rough pounding like a champ. Honestly, not many guys can. But this younger generation doesn't use email. It's hard to get ahold of him. I'm not ready for an ultimatum. Thoughts?

I find your question a bit confusing. You say you own this boy and he’s a perfect fit, but then you go right into not being able to get a hold of him and talk of ultimatums. An ultimatum is not a solution I hear often proposed for problems when two people fit together as well as you describe.

How long have you owned him for? What does he say about you not being able to contact him? Does he make excuses? Does he not say much nor seem to care? Does he have a good reason for not being available at will? Did you both consensually agree to ownership and go through a ceremony? Did you talk about what it means to be an owned boy and of expectations and responsibilities?

I don’t know how to answer your question because I know so little about the situation between you two.

Here are two scenarios that occur to me right off the bat.

1) This boy MAY either not be interested in “living the lifestyle” (by which I mean kinky sex is a secondary or lower priority in his sexual identity and fantasies). If that’s the case, as I see it you really have two choices. You can either accept that this particular boy (despite being a good match) is simply not able to live up to his duties as you need him to and make him a far lower priority. After all, why put more effort into the relationship than he is willing to? Or you can just drop him all together. And that doesn’t sound like the option you want to follow.

2) Your second possibility is that now that he’s faced with the actual prospect of ownership is having second thoughts or is bothered by his own interest in kink and “where it’s taken him”. In that case I’d sit down with him and talk this stuff out. He may be trying to distance himself from the reality of ownership for a variety of reasons. He’s scared it means he’s a weak or pathetic person for being owned like this. He may be scared that he’ll like it and want more than you can or want to give and drive you away. He may have had a situation where someone saw him going to hook up with you and started asking questions and he had to play it off because he isn’t out as kinky to that person.

Either way, I’m betting that if you punish him or deliver an ultimatum that he is unlikely to respond by giving you what you want. He may simply disappear all together and he’s gone forever.

If you have not already, try and see if there is a method he uses that you can use to get a hold of him. It is possible but less likely that he simply isn’t used to interacting in the way that you do. You may be able to get to see him more frequently if you have a channel of communication he is constantly checking. Besides, I bet it would feel good to have a personal, direct line to your beta that he promptly replies to.

I hope the situation works out to your satisfaction. Do let us know what happens.

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