My daddy wants to bring a FTM into the relationship what do I do?

Please help me Sir! My Daddy wants to bring a FTM into our hierarchy. I am not happy about this, but want to be respectful to my Daddy. What should I do?

I will do the best I can to offer help, but there’s a lot of missing info. Feel free to answer any of these questions

What kind of hierarchy is this? Are you at the top of the submissive part of your hierarchy? Was this action being undertaken regardless of your wishes? Why are you unhappy about the addition of this submissive? I find it interesting that the new person is referred to by you as a FTM rather than a submissive. What are your concerns around this person being an FTM? Are you concerned because your Daddy expressed a desire for all three of you to play? Are you concerned about what it means about his sexuality or perhaps you have concerns about competing because that submissive offers something you literally cannot?

I don’t know the answer to those questions, but if you haven’t considered them take a moment to do so. Would you have the same objections if another cis-gendered sub were being added to your hierarchy? If so, think about what those objections are. When making decisions, or trying to address my own worries and concerns, it can sometimes help to create a chart. Here’s how I’ve laid out charts in the past.

• Uncomfortable truths: things I view as truths that bother me.
• Fears: a list of fears as specific as I can make them.
• Worst Case Scenarios: Write out the worst case scenarios you can think of; again be as specific as you can.
• Realizations: If writing this has made you realize anything, write it down. This can be insights into your own fears or realizations you’ve had about your Sir.

When I’m fearful of things, I find it really helpful to be as specific as I can about fears. Letting them stay nebulous and not thought through lets them loom in the background of your mind. Defining them and finding the underlying issue allows you to address them. Dominants get scared sometimes too. We have a lot of responsibility for our submissives and we want to do the very best we can for you. The difference is if we show that fear it’s a turn off. So it’s bottled up inside and only sometimes shared among other dominants. He could be as nervous as you are about how this will work even if he’s done this before with other boys in the past and it went well.

As for being respectful to your Daddy, I find that an interesting add on. I could tell you to go up and talk to him about it, but maybe that would be considered too bold by your Daddy. I don’t know what your relationship is like. At the bare minimum, if you cannot find a time to do it where you fear he will react poorly. Write an email. Explain that you did not know when would be best to discuss it and you wanted to be able to articulate your thoughts fully for him. Ask him to address it with you over the next few days when he is ready to do so. Be polite about all of it.

Lastly, regarding the submissive being FTM. I touched earlier on possible concerns of yours being around a FTM submissive being able to provide a hole you cannot. You should not worry about this. Here’s a four reasons why:

1. Everyone brings something different to the table: No one person can be everything another person needs. For example I enjoy rougher play than my boy​ and that is a need I satisfy with other partners. I still love him and I am very much devoted to him, but I am not replacing him when I get involved with pain play with someone else. In fact, I can’t even 
2. The best response to competition is to be more you: Your Daddy already chose and prioritized you as his submissive first before this boy. New toys are always interesting for awhile but you are there filling an important need in his life and he will experience that need again and find you to fill it. Rather than fear another person, be more of yourself. If you’re goofy, make a point of being goofy with him. If you are a servant to his needs, anticipate his needs and make your presence appreciated. Worrying about another boy, or acting out does not solve anything and when you don’t get the reaction you want will only serve to upset you further. As tough as it is, do your best to self soothe and show him why you’re his most important boy.
3. Transguys are guys too: I’ve played with transmen as well and one of the things that can only be learned by being around transmen and getting to know them is that now that their outsides more readily match their insides how frequently indistinguishable from other guys they are. When I’ve spent time with transmen they FEEL like guys, socially, the way they talk, body language, everything! I truly believe that transmen ARE men and I think you might be able to see what I see in them if you spent some time with them. I hope no one is asking you to sleep with them if you simply are not comfortable doing so, but there is camaraderie in getting to know another submissive chosen by your Daddy.
4. He’s probably as scared/jealous as you are: This guy is probably feeling as lucky as you feel to be desired by your Daddy. He is also probably as scared about being inserted in an existing dynamic as you are. After all, you were here first and have been with this Daddy longer than he has. He may be jealous of the connection the two of you share that he presumes is stronger than the one he shares with your daddy. But your Daddy sees something in you both and that’s something you have in common. If you can, try to get to know him a bit socially. Learn what he likes and dislikes, and just talk to him. Leaving this boy a mystery leaves him an unknown quantity and that leaves your mind space to fill in blanks with whatever fears might be appropriate.