I Think My Submissive Is Flaking! Help!
"Hello sir. I'm a senior in college who is a sub/switch and I've finally met another person in tumblr who lives nearby, is a year older than me, and is into the same stuff I am(boot worship/trampling) (he also says he's 90% sub, 10% dom). We've talked for a bit and we both have expressed that meeting for a session would be awesome. I'd messaged him a few days ago and he never responded. I'm afraid that he's ignoring me/passively cancelling our idea but I don't want to sound pushy. Any advice?"
Thanks for the question! I’m in this very situation almost monthly.
I think that the first bit of context we should add in here is that when it comes to messages through messenger there is no notification outside of Tumblr (unlike this very ask you sent me which generated an email). Whatever you write, you should just keep in mind without a notification if anything serious came up in real life he might have become distracted and forgotten about the messages and plans.
I’d advise sending one more message something like:
“Hey there, I'm pretty sure you’ve gotten a bit busy but I wanted to reach out one more time to say I’m excited for the chance for us to get together.”
And then let that be it.
If he comes back and starts talking to you but seems nervous or is giving a lot of one-word answers. I’d try sympathizing a little bit. Say that you know it’s a bit scary to submit for someone for the first time, but if it would help you’d be willing to meet up for coffee with no expectation of sex just so he could see you and become a bit comfortable with your presence.
I hate to say it but if he is flaking there just isn’t anything you can say at this point to fix the situation. I wouldn’t take that as “something you did wrong” or anything. It’s just the unfortunate reality of dating in this century.
Need perspective on a problem? Not sure how to talk a submissive into bed or what you should do once you’ve got him there? Ask me a question!
Update: Since writing this advice the writer has followed my advice and found that his submissive had just been away for a few days and still wanted to meet. They set up a time to meet.
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