How can I buy a dildo discreetly?

Hi sir, i wondered if you had any advice for how an 18 year old faggot could go buy a cage and dildos discretely in DC?

 Ha. Do I know my home town? Of course I do!

Hmmm. I think that the only place you MIGHT be able to get a cage is Bite the Fruit. There are other sex shops here in DC but I never remember seeing cages at them.

1723 Connecticut Avenue NW
Second Floor
Washington DC 20009

At the bare minimum they’ll have mountains of dildos. Go get a 12 inch toy with a suction cup and try not to pull any tiles off the bathroom wall!

I would point out though that discretion is the reason online shopping for adult toys is so popular. Which means that adult stores primarily focus on being open approachable atmospheres where people can comfortably ask questions. That… doesn’t really help your quest for discretion. It’s also a store catering to everyone, so straight people you know could be there browsing.

Now, if you’re just looking to go somewhere you probably won’t be seen by people you KNOW… Mid Atlantic Leather is right around the corner. Assuming whomever you are trying to be discreet from doesn’t know a bunch of gay men, that would be a place you could go. But there’s an entry fee to the merchant room. It’s between 10-20 bucks i think (it’s been a year). You could go there and wander around. They’ll have tons of dildos and someone may be able to properly fit you for a cage and show you how to put it on. Maybe even reach into your pants and put it on you so you could wear it out. How’s that sound?

Got a question? No idea who to ask? Me, of course!

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