Sir Alex's BDSM Advice

I'm a boy coming to terms with myself. Was wondering what are your thoughts on boys? Why are we the way we are? When I think back on my earliest sexual thoughts they all involved submission. I tried to deny them for a long time and it's difficult to admit it still. Why do I feel this desire to take cock, to be held by big, strong Men, be told I'm a good boy? What a philosophical question. I love it. So you’re having trouble coming to terms with being a submissive. Hmm, well there’s two components that might be giving you trouble. Component one is Society. “Everyone should be a leader, we should all be strong people who bow to no one!” That’s bullshit. It takes a lot of guts and personal strength to serve a man. After all you have to put your trust in someone else and let go. There are people who live their entire lives wanting to let go but ...

Hello Sir, I'm in a dilemma with my Dom right now. He wants to put me in chastity, but I'm not big enough (about 2-3" hard) with no hanging balls. I feel like I disappoint him because I can't please Him and I feel like a failure. He tell me not to worry about it but I can't shake the feeling of disappointment. What could I do to stop feeling like this and please Him. Thank you for answering Sir. There are most definitely little chastity cages you can get for your size. I would encourage you to reach out to chastity blogs for other guys your size and see what they have to say as far as a specific model you can search for on google. If I’m mistaken and there really isn’t such a model, then it’s time to get creative about chastity. The cage is not the end all be all. There are many men who have no cage yet never touch themselves outsid...

SIR, Your words and thoughts are so much appreciated by boys like me. There is a question that I cannot seem to answer and wanted to see if you would be willing to enlighten me. I respond to the idea of a faggot, a pussyboi, beta and sub. I'd even say in some scenarios a slave. Is there a way to clarify my role or is a blend common? It is clear that serving Real Men, Masters and Alphas is my purpose but is there a clearer purpose for me? Thanks much. bornfaggot You’re too kind bornfaggot. And this is a great question. It is absolutely common to have a blend. Kink, sexuality, personality, and general levels of happiness all exist on a spectrum. So as kinksters it’s really common to be a blend of sexual interests. http://thegayboybible.tumblr.com/post/139354493831/faggot-omega-boy I wrote an entry on three motivations of submissives. I think you should read this post not for the identities but to wrap...

I am a newbie, I find your writing very expanding and helpful. What advise can you offer a very scared to fail person? I think that being very scared to fail is unhealthy for personal growth. I wrote something on this already at:  http://thegayboybible.tumblr.com/post/138440062196/cultivating-bravery But I’m going to try to focus on giving advice I haven’t given already. 1) Failure Is How We Learn And Grow - You learn so much more from failure than you do success. In BDSM that’s a really important thing. Learning that I’ve tied a rope too tight helps every sub after that moment. Failing to tie a knot teaches me what to change in future to get it down pat. A perpetual expectation perfection is a recipe for frustration. 2) Failures Of The Past Won’t Be Seen By Those In The Present - If you fail at an activity. Learn from it. Try again, and get it right going fo...

Sir, may i please ask what drives a Dominant in general terms? What makes Him tick? Is it the control? The helplessness of His sub? Inflicting pain? Humiliation? Does submissiveness/obedience turn Him on? Is it fun to train, or a chore? Thank You Sir Unfortunately, I can’t answer this question. Every dominant is different. I would rather doubt that there is a truly universal set of principles that makes every dominant tick. We’re humans not androids ;) Any answer I give is related to me and my personal experience and we should all understand while reading it that my experience cannot be extrapolated to apply universally to all dominants. I am highly motivated by control. In fact I’m always seeking to accrue more of it from everyone that serves me. Especially when boys tell me no. I want to make them say yes later of their own free will and turn over any controls they initially denied me. Inflicting pain and humiliatio...

Am I a selfish faggot Sir? I serve a very big, heavy, hairy, powerful alpha. He has a 9 x 6.5 cock, he's 6'2, 240lbs, very hairy and he stinks of sweat when we meet. He loves to be dominant. I'm required to lick clean his feet, pits, balls and arse when we meet. I suck and choke on his big dick. My useless cock is ignored totally. Just wish he's smash my cunt much more. Been too inferior to ask. Other alphas always fuck me - they love it. He's amazing. Am I being a spoiled fag? What should I do? Are you a selfish faggot? Maybe? It’s kinda hard to say based on what you wrote. It doesn’t sound like it. A spoiled fag would insist on being fucked. Then pout when he doesn’t get his way and act out by way of protest. You could try asking and see what he says. You’d be surprised how flexible alphas can be. Some things to consider : He may just like oral. Plenty of men prefer it to anal. That dominant ...

Sir, can a boy or slave expect care and affection from his Dom? What if there is a death in the family, or a sibling needs help, or a sub becomes ill? Will the Dom be more of a partner when things go wrong in life? Thank You, Sir. You would have to ask an individual dominant this question. All of this is specific to individuals.  There is not much that can accurately be said of dominants as a group. I think you SHOULD be able to expect this. A dominant cares for his boy and is supposed to protect him and keep him safe in and out of the dungeon. I think that some guys fall into a trap of thinking where they’re concerned subs won’t respect and adore them if they drop the dominance for a single moment (even if they need to). Also, there’s a buddy I have who is a submissive. He really likes to be abused (hit, insulted, and degraded) and he has a kinky husband. However, his husband really loves and cares for this b...