Sir Alex's BDSM Advice

  cobberstuff  said to  thegayboybible : Thank you for your explanation of terms and meanings. I can see that words can mean different things to different people and so it is important for both submissive and dominants to talk about what particular words mean to them. It is valuable to have a vocabulary you can use and agree on. From your description I have come to the understanding that I would be a beta by your definition. “I submit because I am strong, not because I am weak.” The word “humiliation” is a puzzle to me. I guess it has its root in “humble” and that fits with how I see myself with respect to a Dom. However, the word seems to me to have the meaning of disparagement or debasement. If a Dom wants me to do something, it gives me an opportunity to express my nature and, if it pleases him, it fulfills me. But it seems to have the connotation of being forced to do something that is purposefully belittling. Have you any thoughts? Hey there! Thanks for the question....

I have a question now I know that some like to be dominated and they make it subtly known because they have experience and do so. But how you stop someone who thinks you’re a bottom without any or whatever from approaching you like that and I mean on apps and in real life. To help you understand  a little more I'm trying to find what I like best since I just became Bi but all I get are the overly aggressive dudes saying things from "you know you want to bottom for me" to "you know you want this" I'm kinda new but that shit just rubs the wrong way and I want to believe I can actually  find someone or something with someone that help me understand but I worry that I have to deal with that shitty aggression. So, my real question is that normal or do I just have bad luck? - Anon Hey there anon,  I'm a little uncertain if this applies to you. You wrote: "I just became Bi." And I’m unclear if you've decided the label fits you or y...

I am and always have been a total bottom with a small dick who gets intensely turned on by thinking of myself as inferior to certain other men, and naturally submissive in their presence. In fact it's pretty much the only way I get aroused. But another part of me continues to feel like there's something wrong with me for having those feelings. What's your perspective on that? I think the important first step would be to wrestle with why exactly you feel it’s wrong to have those feelings? Ever heard the folk advice when it comes to dating: “Don’t fuck on the first date?” Even if you personally stick to that advice, I’m sure you know others who don’t and have very successful romantic lives. Folk advice You know what’s also a bit of folk advice? “Everyone is equal.” To be absolutely precise regarding what I mean is: not everyone WANTS to be equal. That’s perfectly OK too. Why? Because it’s directly related to ...

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Hello, Sir. I'm 26, been trying to be a Dom since I was a teen. Currently serving as a submissive for a MissMoxie. She is training me to eventually be able to take proper alpha cock. My question is: have you any experience as a submissive, and do you have any tips for a recent Dom-turned-sub. Hello little switch, First up, no. I do not have any experience as a submissive. When i wanted to be a better dominant i found a pro-Dominant and paid him for his time. Once a week for 8 months we spoke over skype on a variety of topics i wanted education on and i drove that education. I planned, i thought out questions, hell i even did some homework at one point, and i participated to the fullest extent i could in that entire process. I’m not entirely certain i understand your story though. Are you serving MissMoxie because she is teaching you lessons about being dominant and in exchange you serve her? I’m not ce...

Your blog makes me want to assert my natural superiority to a young, white male in the L.A. Area. I'm 34yo, white/Latin, professional, athletic. Your posts lit a fire in me and I want to learn from a mentor the way you did. Who's the best? Any trained fags in the area whom you know? Best is really a matter of opinion. I am always partial first towards my mentor. Eric Pride. For anyone else who hadn’t seen the mentor references he was referring to… I spent 8 months speaking with my mentor over skype. We did an hour every other week. I paid him for his time and I came up with my own curriculum and directed my own education. I am certain Eric would not mind taking on a new student. Do a quick google search and you can find him easily. He is my preferred suggestion. If cash is tight, you could always try going the route our BDSM forefathers went and participate in the “old guard”. The Old Guard references a particular structure of BDSM wherein you can only parti...

I'm having trouble with my cock cage. Even though it seems as tight as it could possibly be, every now and then one ball kinda retracts up into my scrotum and pops through the ring which then causes it to fall off. Any suggestions about how I can avoid this? Well, testicles retract inside us when they are cold. Given that it’s winter here in the northern hemisphere that cold air could certainly explain why one of your testicles does an escape act! I think I have a solution, but it’s not going to be super comfortable. If you can, grab a ball stretcher and see if you can put it on when you’re going to go out into the cold. Ball stretchers are better able to grip your balls and will pull them down and separate. I suggest something rubbery and I’ll include a link to a product that may help. I’d only wear these for the duration of time that you’re going to be in a cold area and then take them off once you’ve been in a wa...