I used to be a dom, am I a fag now?

I only used to dom, but recently have subbed a few times. The last owner I met, said he was giving me a sub test. He had me bend over and spread my cheeks, pissed on my hole and in it with a funnel, then stuck his index finger in. When he tried to pull out, my hole tightened around it. He said I knew you were a faggot sub bitch. It was hot AF, but is that real?

My believe it or not says… 100% NOT A THING!

But you believed him which speaks to how well he sold it in the moment. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. It is part of being a skilled dominant to sell subs on the fantasy in the moment because it’s hot.

Here’s the important thing, how you proceed from here. I had a friend lately who was asking me about whether or not he’s a switch and how he should identify. He is a submissive but found someone he could dominate. I told him that in truth all of us have dominant and submissive moments in society. When I deal with an authority figure such as a boss I am polite and deferential. When dealing with folks in a service industry I know exactly what I want and ask in an authoritative tone. So you might be a switch, someone who decides if he is dominant or submissive based on the personality of the person he’s speaking to… but only if you actually want more experiences like this. If you feel this guy was unique in his ability to dominate you then it might be more accurate to describe yourself as you did, “I mostly dominate, but every once in awhile I submit too.”

An aside for the purists out there. Submitting to someone takes a lot of strength. Do NOT give switches bullshit. They are no less dominant for submitting and no less submissive for dominating. They are expressing two sides of the same coin because it is natural for them to do so, as natural as it is for any of us to stick to a single role.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My thoughts on raceplay

Anonymous   asked: What are your thoughts on raceplay? Obviously, raceplay is consensual and racism isn't, so how would someone go about navigating the thin boundary between the two? It seems as easy as just open communication and setting those boundaries but it is a touchy topic to bring up in the first place so it'd be great to know more about it. This isn’t the first time I’ve answered on this question, but I think that an update is overdue. This is also going to be long so strap in and each section is going to talk about different angles, thoughts, and experiences with raceplay. Trigger warnings:  This post will contain discussions or racially motivated sexualized play. It may reference racial violence as part of historical context or for illustrative purposes. If you are not in a place to read this material, don’t. It’ll be here if you really want to read it later. About the Author:  I’m a white gay man in my 30s. I have engaged with raceplay with submissives (and a ...
Read more

Is that REALLY the core of who I am as a person?

I read constantly on D/s Tumblr blogs that accepting that you're a slave or faggot is the first step to truly being happy. That all else in your life will just fall into place, all because you've accepted a side of yourself that in reality, few people will ever see. But is that really the key to my happiness?? Career, family, friends, money, none will offer the happiness that being a faggot or slave will?? Is that REALLY the core of who I am as a person?? Or is it more a Tumblr fantasy?? Thanks for the question Anon! Statement: I read constantly on D/s Tumblr blogs that accepting that you’re a slave or faggot is the first step to truly being happy. Commentary: Ehhhhhhh. It’s a path TO happiness. It’s true that some submissives really spend a lot of time making themselves miserable trying to avoid being themselves, but that’s the same thing as being gay and denying it. Sure, there are subs out there for whom embracing their submissive side IS absolutely transformative but that’s...
Read more

Impostor Syndrome and BDSM

  Impostor Syndrome and BDSM Part 1 of 2 Dissecting Impostor Syndrome   I am extremely grateful to the many people who have worked to give this concept a name and language we can all use in discussing it. Impostor syndrome can affect subs or doms, but for the purposes of this article I overcame it as a dominant and wanted to discuss it in detail from that perspective because I know other dominants struggle with this silently. Even amongst each other we don’t often discuss it. It is always important to start by defining the topic of discussion. Impostor syndrome is a feeling that we’re in a position in life, in love, in our career, or in BDSM that we have not in fact earned and that if others found out we’d be exposed and humiliated for pretending to be someone we aren’t.  I’d say 2017 was the last time I was feeling impostor syndrome pretty severely. I know not everyone reading this will know who I am, so I’d like to discuss my background and bonafides not as ...
Read more