I want to dominate other dominants, how can I make that happen?!
Hi! Maybe you could help me understand something. I'm a dominant who crave to dominate others doms. It's a big turn on for me. I have no or little interest to play with an obedient submissive. I want to "fight" and subdue a strong dominant man. Is this common? It's more difficult for me to find someone to play with...
Have I got some good news for you! You can totally find guys
like that will challenge you.
First off, let me post this link: https://bdsmtest.org/
This link is relevant because when you take the test I bet at the end you’re going to score highly for a “Brat Tamer”. It is not an identity that seems to be used outside of the test, but here’s what I understand a Brat Tamer to do. One of the sexiest things for a Brat Tamer to do is to dominate someone who makes it a challenge. That sounds exactly like you. You can actually find a number of submissive men for whom the sexiest part of play is to struggle against domination only to buckle under your advances. But don’t underestimate them. They may buckle that time, but they’ll regain their spirit and challenge and push back against you in no time.
Unfortunately, there’s a bit of bad news too. Like I said, I haven’t heard many people self identify as Brats so that makes them harder to search for. But now that you know what you’re looking for, when you talk to submissives describe the kind of guy you’re looking for. Many will self select out but you would not have been interested in them anyways. Anyone who doesn’t is who you’re looking for.
I also recognize that a brat might not appeal to you based on what you wrote so I have other suggestions, but I would give brats a shot.
I would also suggest looking for switches. Switches, for those who don’t know, are people who are both dominant and submissive. When they meet someone they get a read on the kind of person they’re interacting with. If they’re more dominant they assume a dominant role, if they’re more submissive than the person they’re talking to they assume a submissive role. I could see it being hot for you to be with a switch and have him sub for you, but when you two go to a leather bar you let him loose to hunt. He hits on a subby twink, maybe they get into some kissing and petting but at the end of the night you take him home when he’s charged up with dominant energy and fuck the dominance out of him.
I think switches are a great option, but they can also be a bit hard to find because when someone sees you act a role out they assume you’re JUST a Dom or sub. Beyond even that some dominants and submissives will be judgey and claim switches aren’t Dom/sub whatever suits their argument. I disagree. But such judgmental attitudes lead switches to being a bit less out as switches in the same way bi folks aren’t always clear they’re bi because gay and straight people can be dicks about it.
Another option might be, if you pop onto recon or maybe even Fetlife, you might enjoy the “fight” fetish. I admittedly don’t know too much about it and I’ve done it myself only once so I have no idea if my experience is representative. For me, I met a guy on Growlr who was in town for Obama’s re-election weekend. He wanted to wrestle me, and the winner got to fuck the loser. I wasn’t super feeling being fucked by this guy if I lost but I was curious about the experience since I’d never heard of such a thing. When it was all over I won and fucked him. He was really dominant and intense during the whole experience. He had a huge hard on for disrespecting people to make them angry to fight more but at the end he did one of those big manly pats on the back “well fought brother”. So I wouldn’t say that I dominated and forced him to submit because it wasn’t like that. I fought, I won, and he took it up the ass as per our agreement. I didn’t insult him or call him boy, I just fucked.
Final thoughts. Yeah, it’s going be harder to find a guy like you’re looking for. But don’t give up! You totally can find someone you’re compatible with. Just remember that in this case rather than finding “the one”, as dan savage says, you might have to round a 0.7 up to 1 to be happy in the end. It DOES happen that two dominants enter into a relationship together, but it is tricky because without someone to dominate or someone to bottom and someone to top… sex is tricky and dynamics were already tricky so sometimes such relationships tear themselves apart. I hope that either the switch or the brat idea work out for you because I think they’ve got a higher population you can select from and they’re more likely to be sustainable as either relationships or fuck buddies. Man this was long! That’s a great question. Update me and let us know how life’s going in your search!
First off, let me post this link: https://bdsmtest.org/
This link is relevant because when you take the test I bet at the end you’re going to score highly for a “Brat Tamer”. It is not an identity that seems to be used outside of the test, but here’s what I understand a Brat Tamer to do. One of the sexiest things for a Brat Tamer to do is to dominate someone who makes it a challenge. That sounds exactly like you. You can actually find a number of submissive men for whom the sexiest part of play is to struggle against domination only to buckle under your advances. But don’t underestimate them. They may buckle that time, but they’ll regain their spirit and challenge and push back against you in no time.
Unfortunately, there’s a bit of bad news too. Like I said, I haven’t heard many people self identify as Brats so that makes them harder to search for. But now that you know what you’re looking for, when you talk to submissives describe the kind of guy you’re looking for. Many will self select out but you would not have been interested in them anyways. Anyone who doesn’t is who you’re looking for.
I also recognize that a brat might not appeal to you based on what you wrote so I have other suggestions, but I would give brats a shot.
I would also suggest looking for switches. Switches, for those who don’t know, are people who are both dominant and submissive. When they meet someone they get a read on the kind of person they’re interacting with. If they’re more dominant they assume a dominant role, if they’re more submissive than the person they’re talking to they assume a submissive role. I could see it being hot for you to be with a switch and have him sub for you, but when you two go to a leather bar you let him loose to hunt. He hits on a subby twink, maybe they get into some kissing and petting but at the end of the night you take him home when he’s charged up with dominant energy and fuck the dominance out of him.
I think switches are a great option, but they can also be a bit hard to find because when someone sees you act a role out they assume you’re JUST a Dom or sub. Beyond even that some dominants and submissives will be judgey and claim switches aren’t Dom/sub whatever suits their argument. I disagree. But such judgmental attitudes lead switches to being a bit less out as switches in the same way bi folks aren’t always clear they’re bi because gay and straight people can be dicks about it.
Another option might be, if you pop onto recon or maybe even Fetlife, you might enjoy the “fight” fetish. I admittedly don’t know too much about it and I’ve done it myself only once so I have no idea if my experience is representative. For me, I met a guy on Growlr who was in town for Obama’s re-election weekend. He wanted to wrestle me, and the winner got to fuck the loser. I wasn’t super feeling being fucked by this guy if I lost but I was curious about the experience since I’d never heard of such a thing. When it was all over I won and fucked him. He was really dominant and intense during the whole experience. He had a huge hard on for disrespecting people to make them angry to fight more but at the end he did one of those big manly pats on the back “well fought brother”. So I wouldn’t say that I dominated and forced him to submit because it wasn’t like that. I fought, I won, and he took it up the ass as per our agreement. I didn’t insult him or call him boy, I just fucked.
Final thoughts. Yeah, it’s going be harder to find a guy like you’re looking for. But don’t give up! You totally can find someone you’re compatible with. Just remember that in this case rather than finding “the one”, as dan savage says, you might have to round a 0.7 up to 1 to be happy in the end. It DOES happen that two dominants enter into a relationship together, but it is tricky because without someone to dominate or someone to bottom and someone to top… sex is tricky and dynamics were already tricky so sometimes such relationships tear themselves apart. I hope that either the switch or the brat idea work out for you because I think they’ve got a higher population you can select from and they’re more likely to be sustainable as either relationships or fuck buddies. Man this was long! That’s a great question. Update me and let us know how life’s going in your search!
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